Post #8 Show Don't Tell

Hello. 

     Welcome back.

     You've no doubt heard this before.  When writing, SHOW Don't TELL.

     It's another rule to help you become the respected author you want to be.   Check your book of Tools.  Rules 22, 27, and 38.

     TELL: (no)  "My brother is talented."

     Don’t just TELL me your brother is talented.  SHOW me.  Your reader should decide if he's talented. 

     SHOW: (yes)  "My brother restores Model T Fords, is a stand in for Brad Pitt, and just yesterday played 18  holes under par over at the Wilshire Country Club, with only his seven iron." 
     Now you have your reader saying, “Wow, now there's one talented guy.”

     When you make a statement, back it up with examples. 

     TELL: (no)  “I'm a hard worker.”
     Unengaging and unconvincing.  It has no persuasive force.
         
     SHOW: (yes)  "I'm up at five to write while I'm fresh, catch the 720 Metro at seven to get to work, selling commodity futures. I get back about six for an hour or two going over the rewrites for my tenth book.  Hell, I don't even have time to eat."

     This is much more persuasive, don't you think?

     TELL: (no)  "I would have to say that Ping-Pong is my favorite sport.

     SHOW: (yes)   "Ping-Pong may look like fun, a beer in one hand a paddle in the other, but for champions like myself, winning requires me to be a real athlete.  Sometimes it feels like a life or death proposition.  It's one heck of a work out.  It's my life."

***

     Here’s a sentence that tells:

     TELL: (no)  The boy wore old clothes.

     Boring

     SHOW: (yes)   The back pockets of the boy's jeans had been removed to supply material for patches in the knees, and where the pockets had been were the unfaded squares of blue denim.  (Thieves' Market,  A.I. Bezzerides).

     Not boring. 

     And as a writer, there is nothing worse than to be called boring.  NOTHING.

***

     How about Metaphors and Similes to SHOW (yes).

     TELL: (no)   He rumbled through the crowd.

     SHOW: (yes)  Like a bull elephant he pushed the others out of his path, forcing his way toward the crowded break room, hoping beyond hope that somebody had the good sense to make a fresh pot of coffee.

     TELL: (no)  She quietly looked through the window.

     SHOW: (yes)  Like a weightless butterfly gliding up to the window, she lit silently on the sill, and peered inside.

     TELL: (no)  He sat there with a bag of chips. 

     Boring.

     This creates a limited image.  (Okay, Ernest Hemingway might get away with sentences like this, but we're not Ernest Hemingway).

     SHOW: (yes)  He stared into the bag of Doritos, shook it, and smelled it's aroma.  With a huge smile, he cradled the bag in his arms like a baby.  Try to take it away from him, you’re in for a fight, twisting away, "Hey.  Get your own.  This is MINE!"

     Not boring.

***

     Answer the questions your readers are asking. 

     TELL: (no) "I'm not worthy."

     Your readers are asking, "Okay why aren't you worthy?  What have you done to become unworthy?  Who are you?"

     SHOW: (yes)  "Every time I get up on stage I forget my lines, and once I look out into the audience, I feel so stupid.  I'm such a screw up.  It's like I want to throw up.  Really."

     The more of these questions you answer, the more you SHOW (yes) instead of TELL (no), the more interesting your writing will be.  The more readers you'll have.  The more books you'll sell.

     Keep going with the first 6 Posts.  It's hard work, but you're building the solid foundation you need.  

     Until next time...

     Together we can get this done.

     Later.

Post #7 My own Pomodoro Technique

Welcome back. 

     For first timers, go back to Posts  #1 through #6.  That's all you need to become a respected author.  It's your one year apprenticeship.  If you have any questions about how I became a published author let me know in the comments.

     Let's discuss Natalie's Book, (Post #3).  How do you do what she asks?  Write non-stop for fifteen minutes?  Sounds simple.  After reading it the first time, I thought, hell, fifteen minutes, come on.  First time I tried it, I wrote non-stop for a full two hours.  Just kept writing, didn't stop.  8 pages.  Nothing to this.  I felt inspired.

      That day I typed my handwritten scrawl into my laptop when I got back to my loft.  That's when I saw it.  Around page four my rough handwriting started repeating itself, and I began to lose focus, adding words like, 'focus, focus, focus,' and  'just keep your hand moving, moving, moving.'  I lost my direction pages five through 8.  Something was wrong.  I wasn't adding anything new.  Was five pages my limit?  I wanted to write so much more.  

     It was exciting my first day, writing in my spiral notebook, but the next day I only wrote for an hour, a struggle to finally finish eight pages.  The days that followed, my enthusiasm certainly dropped.  It wasn't all that much fun anymore, but hell, I had to do it.

     So I sat back, pulled out my cell phone and Goggled 'How to focus while writing,' hoping for a solution.  Fortunately, I stumbled upon The Pomodoro Technique.  Just in time since I felt a low grade headache approaching, page one in my notebook staring up at me, blank.      

      Essentially this technique eliminates burnout, eliminates the problem of procrastination, and OMG it also helps prevents writer's block.   Natalie uses something similar.  She writes for 15 minutes then takes a break. 

      Pomodoro?  It's Italian for tomato.  Tomato?  Yeah, tomato.  It comes from a kitchen timer!  You've seen them, (Check the picture).  It’s shaped like a small tomato with numbers around the top.  Twist  it to 10, come  back 10 minutes later,  it dings.  To prevent stares, at the coffee shop I use my cell phone. 

    The Pomodoro System breaks down work into 25 minute intervals, a five minute break, then back to work. 

    So I tested it for a couple of days to see if this would work for me.  I was working on the background for my major characters for my next book, Muscles in Red Wine.  I was starting to lose my steam, my excitement, plotting out the story.  But this system got me going again.  The notebook didn't feel so heavy walking up to the coffee shop. 

    After experimenting for a week, I developed my own system. 

      30 minutes (non-stop writing) then a 5 minute break.  A second 30 minutes then increasing to a 10 minute break, then 30, and 15 break.  I continued with 15 minute breaks until I finished 8 pages in my notebook.  (Pomordoro30)

     During the breaks, I relaxed.  Nothing mental.  Just stared out the window.  My suggestion;  If you’re in a coffee shop, look up at the other people, say hello, maybe even, (shall I say it?)  smile.   Me, after saying hello, I do my eye exercises.  Yep.  Blinking, distant looking, exercise the up and down muscles in your eyes.  Your eyes take a beating staring into a computer screen.  (FYI, there's a free App for these exercises).   

     And it worked.  My notebook scrawl didn't degenerate into repetitive crap after page 5.  An obvious improvement.  And no headaches.  Enthusiasm rekindled.  I was excited to find a simple solution to something many writers dread.    

      It's a LifeHack, a trick to get stuff done. This system also works for your reading.  It keeps your mind fresh.  Holds your enthusiasm.  Rewards you with those increasing breaks. 

     Check it out.  Writers have to read and write.  Try this.  It works for me. 

     Until next time.   Together we can get this done.

     Later...

Post #6 SUMMARY of Posts #1 - #5

     If this is your first visit, and you want to become a respected author, then go back and read posts one through five.  My system is fully explained.  It will save you years of time.

      For everyone else, let me summarize.  (Remember if you have any questions,  or you think I'm headed for a crash, please add your comments.  I'll do my best to get us back on the straight and narrow.)
 
     (Not that you're a horse, but...)  I've led you to water...
 
     Everything you need is here.  From now on, it's up to you.  I've given you all the tools you'll need, plus enough to build your race course.  The finish line is there, it's up to you to get out there and run.   

     To be a writer, you have to write.  Creating a Blog, allows you to write, but with that little extra.  Knowing your words will be read by the entire world, you'll think about what you've written. 

     It won't just be words in a spiral notebook, uncopied, misspellings, half sentences, confused thoughts.  A Blog forces you rewrite what you've done.  Pride takes over. 

     "People are going to read this, so I gotta get this to make some kind of sense."

     For the newbie, once you press, 'Publish,' you can now call yourself a writer.  "I'm a writer, check out my blog."  (Make it your best.)

      If you can find a more interesting way to practice writing, please tell me.  My first blog, where I practiced, was StiffLeftJab.com, a sports blog. After a year and 96 posts, I stared writing short stories.  (Flower Street Melodramas).

     If you haven't got your Blog up and running, get busy.  (Blogger or WordPress.  They're free).   And if you're nervous about writing under your own name, come up with a pen name.  I did.  My first blog was written under the name Cornelius Butterfield. 

     No NFL coach will start a high school QB in his season opener.  (Probably against NFL rules, anyway,) but you get the idea.  Same here.  You have to go through an apprenticeship.  Follow my posts.  It’s one year.  Only then will an agent read beyond your first paragraph.

     Keep reading.  (Post #3)  You have to get the flow, the rhythm, the words in your head. 

     My schedule.  (You might have to improvise. I'm retired so scheduling my day is no problem.)  If you get away from FaceBook, and Twitter, you'll free up plenty of time.

    I write (#2) at a coffee shop every morning, 6:30-9am.  About eight pages, hand written, (Goldberg # 3).  When I get home, I type it into my laptop.  Eight pages becomes three.  When I've typed about 10 pages, about three days’ worth, I print it and rewrite it at the coffee shop the next morning.  Once it 'sounds right,' (#5), I start over and write the next ten pages. 

     This blog is important in another way.  When you're writing (your book, a year from  now,)  and you come down with writer’s block, just pour another shot of Sailor Jerry's in your coffee, go to your blog and start typing.  It's where you go when you’re ‘Blocked,’ rather than doing something ruinous; ice cream, chocolate, shopping, surfing Ebay for shoes, dreaming about winning the PowerBall.

     Bottom Line: You do this and you'll become a writer.  It will change how you look at the world.  "I can't wait to get this down on paper."  You'll see people as characters, this would make a good story, how would I write that so my readers will feel just like I did?  Regardless, fiction or non-fiction. 

     So you're writing. (Blogging).

     You're reading.  (Your favorite author).

     You're studying your two books. (Taking notes).

     You're on your way.  This is your one year apprenticeship.  The clock is ticking. 

     This blog will now post every few days.  It will be my ideas, my thoughts, how I’m working out my problems, as I writing my next book, 'Muscles in Red Wine.'

     Together we can get this done.

     Later...
    

Post #5 The final piece of the writing puzzle

     The one last piece to the puzzle.   You have to read.

     And read, and read, and read some more.  
  
     I began reading mysteries, primarily Perry Mason, in the seventh grade.  Since then, it's been detective mystery fiction.  I read primarily pulp authors.  1920-1935.

     My challenge is to bring that style to the present day, without all the noir.  Without the guns, without the fights, killers, drunks, without the dames with brass knuckles.  A modern hero, college educated, keeping his head down.  Think James Gardner's Rockford, not Joe Pesci's Nicky Santoro (Casino).  Sherlock Holmes without the morphine and cocaine.  Think Hannibal Lectre turn good guy, without the cannibalism, the weird speech and that hockey mask.  

     He's/She's a lover rather than a fighter, but none the less strong and forceful, certainly not boring, (the death knell for any author.)  He thinks through the problems, rather than simply leading with a stiff left jab.  But he's still not perfect.  (Maybe he's trying to conquer this thing he has for watching too many F-Troop reruns?)  To be honest, I'd like him to be as exciting as Hannibal is scary!

     So, here what I did and still do, and I suggest you do the same.

    Read half an hour (minimum) every day.   Facebook, Twitter, can wait 'til later.

    You want to find authors (fiction or non-fiction) that you like to read.  Then read everything by that author you can find.  The more you read their style the more their style will lodge in your brain. 

     Why read?

     You're looking for a style you like.  The way you'd like to write.  So when you write, then read it back, you'll know when it sounds, 'right.'   Does it sound like what you've been reading?   It'll never sound exactly the same.  Your own personal style will develop.   Just keep reading it back until it sounds, 'right.'  You'll know.

     Next find your genre.  Is it non-fiction, children books, murder mystery, cozy mystery, erotica, adventure/thriller, Sci-Fi?   Whatever.  Go to Amazon/books and check their list of genres.  There's a ton.  Most likely though, you'll follow your favorite author's genre.  People buy books by genre, so you have to find one.

      Try this.  I found books at the library of short stories.  (Mine where Black Mask stories, detective stories, pulp mysteries.)  Chose authors with a style you like.  Then find and read their books.  You're looking for your writing style.  Right now I'm reading a book by Rich Cohen, about the 1985 Chicago Bears, 'Monsters.'  I don't usually read non-fiction, but I like his style.  He follows the '50 Tools.' (Blog #4)

      One thing to remember.  Most books have been professionally edited, so they will sound way beyond your present ability, "I'll never be able to write this good.  It’s impossible.  Why did I ever think I could...”

     Stop.

     Most books take years to write.  Not only that, many are written by groups of writers, with the famous author's name on the cover, so it sells.  Don't think you can't do it.  You can.  I did.  Just this way.

      So, find your author and genre, and read as much as you can.  You want to lock that style in your head.  Simple as that.  You have to read, and read, and read some more. 

     And that's it! 

     Next Blog post is the summary.  I'll go over it all again.   All 5 posts.  Trust me, it's all you'll need. 

     Together we can get this done.

     Later...

Post # 4 How to get it down on paper (WordPad)

      Hello everybody.   Welcome back.
 
     Took a break Saturday, and visited the LA Zoo with my daughter and grandson.  The day turned out to be perfect.  I didn't want to leave, but now I'm home and ready to continue with my promise to make you a published author.

     Got my Kraken and ginger ale, and a spoonful of peanut butter (Organic, smooth), so I'm all set.  (Top Ramen at the ready.)  So, let's do this.

    To become a writer, you have to get your thoughts down on to paper; or spiral notebook, or WordPad/Notepad. 

      Post # 3 gave you one of the two books you'll need.   Here is the other.

      'Writing Tools.  50 essential Strategies for Every Writer,'   by Roy Peter Clark.  (Buy it, or check it out from your library.)

     Here's how this book will help you.  The author claims writers are made not born.  I think he's right.  Writing is a craft you can learn.  You need tools not rules.   There's only 50 tools, that you can use every day.  With these tools you'll become more affluent, and effective, you'll write with a purpose, and a plan. 

     The book is broken up into four sections.

     First Section.  NUTS AND BOLTS. 
          1.  Begin sentences with subject and verbs.
          2.  Order words for emphasis.
          3.  Activate your verbs.
...and on.

     Second Section:  SPECIAL EFFECTS.
          11.  Prefer the simple over the technical.
          12.  Give key words their space.
          13.  Play with words even in serious stories.
...and on.

     Third Section:  BLUEPRINTS.
          24.  Work with a plan.
          25.  Learn the difference between reports and stories.
          26.  Use dialogue as a form of action.
...and on.

     Fourth Section:  USEFUL HINTS.
          40.  Draft a mission statement for your work.
          41.  Turn procrastination into rehearsal.
          42.  Do your homework well in advance.
...and on to 50.

      That's a taste of what this book is all about.  It gets you organized and makes you sound like you know what you're doing as a writer.  Turns you into a professional.  I made a two page summary of this book, and I read it over every Monday morning before I begin to type.

      First time visitors here, who are serious about becoming professionals, should go back to post #1, and catch up with us.

     Your assignment; Get this book.  I suggest a quick read through, then go back and study each tool.  50 days?  Might take more.  l read the whole thing  twice a year. 

     Next Post, #5, I'll give you the final piece in the puzzle.  I do it every day, when I'm finished with typing.

     But Max, I don't want to buy books, I want to start writing.  Well,  Good Luck.  How many high school football players go directly into the NFL.  None that I know of.  Don't they first go through four years of college ball, with managers, coaches, acquire agents?   Your book, off the top of your head,  becoming a NY Times Best Seller?  How serious are you?

     Come back for Post #5, and get the final piece to the puzzle.
 
     Together we can get this done
 
     Later...
         
           
    

Post #3 Writing without Stopping!

Welcome back

    So, are we ready to continue?   You've made the decision to do this.    There's no second thoughts.  There's no turning back.  There's no, "I'll get started on this sometime tomorrow."  (See Blog #1)

     It's Onward and Yonward! 

     From this moment, it's eat, sleep, think writing. That's what you've signed on for.  You've limited your time on Facebook, and Twitter.  (Very important).   You carry a small notebook in your pocket for those ideas that are there (Yes!) and then (Damn!) gone in an instant.  You lie awake thinking up characters, and situations.  Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, doesn't matter.  You're thinking about writing.

    And by now you've got your blog up and running.  If not, get that started right away.  

   "But, Max, I don't want to do any blog.  I got this terrific book idea..."

   There is no magic pill.  You have to write and write, and write some more.  (See Blog #2) 

     "Okay, I get it, so how do I do this?"     

    There are thousands of books on how to write.  I use only two.  I've read my share, but only two stand out.  I read each every six months. 

     We'll start with, 'Writing Down the Bones,' by Natalie Goldberg.  Get this book and read it.  Takes about an hour or two.  Let me tell you how I use her book.

     I walk up to a coffee shop near Flower Street here in Downtown LA.  I get my coffee, open my spiral notebook, sit, pick up my pen, put my head down, and write.

     Natalie writes in fifteen minute chunks, then sits back and rests for a few minutes.  Then writes for another fifteen.

     I wrote, when I started,  for an hour.  Then stopped for about fifteen minutes, got up, walked outside, talked with the regulars, then sat back down and wrote for another hour.

     Natalie recommends writing with a pen, and paper, not laptop  or android.  She says it has to do with a hand/eye/brain connection.  It might be that she grew up before word processors, so she's more comfortable with a pen in her hand.  So I write with a pen.  

      Here's the thing.  Your hand can't stop!  That's the way it's done.  You write for fifteen minutes, without stopping.   You just continue to write.

     Took me a few days to write without stopping, without looking up.  But that's how I do it today.  This was four years ago.  I go up to that coffee shop every morning at 5:30am.  I write for an hour when there aren't many people around.  Then about seven I do another hour.  I socialize for half an hour after that.  Then walk back to my loft and type in into my laptop.  That's how I do it.

    I'm done about noon.

    Two hours of writing at the coffee shop, yields about eight pages.  This translates into about three pages when I get back and type it into my laptop. 

     When you can't stop the pen, you’re going to have sentences like, 'And why am I doing this...A man has just walked in with a funny hat...Who is this lady, in the high heels...' Obviously, I delete those sentences, plus any duplications, and those sentences I just can't read, too scribbly.  I get the essence into the laptop.

    Write and write and write some more. 

    It's tougher if you work eight to five, you have to find the time during the day.   Before work?  After work?  On the MetroLink.  Ten minutes here, 20 minutes there.  It all adds up.

   Just remember, if it's only fifteen minutes, write without stopping.  DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE WRITING, just focus on an idea.  And don't stop.  After a few fifteen minute writing periods, you'll have something that moves your story, or your blog post, forward. 

    For my first blog, StiffLeftJab.com I checked sports sites on the Web, early in the morning, found an odd story, then fit the facts into my cast of characters.  In one I had Pete Rose in the back of a taxi cab talking about his life, with taxi cab driver, Diego Garcia, one of my main characters.  He was always eavesdropping on big time athletes he'd picked up at LAX.

     That's what I did, 500 words a day, one post every three days, for one year.  

     So, get Natalie’s book.  Read it.  It will get you started.
   
     Next blog, we'll discuss the other book, the one that will show you how to get it down on paper.

     Later...

     

Post #2 Those who said YES, let's get started.

Welcome back. 

     Now that you've answered YES to the question:  Do I REALLY want to be a writer, what next?

    When I made the commitment to write, I Googled,   'How to Write.'  The consensus: Write, write, and (you guessed it), write some more.  You can't get around it.  There's no magic pill.  You have to simply write.

     My solution, so it didn't feel like drudgery, and I had something to show for it,  I started a BLOG.

     I went to Blogger.com, and opened up a blog.  Do it.  It takes half an hour or so.  Decide on a name, and a subject.  And begin typing.  Costs about a dollar a month.  Mine was StiffLeftJab.com, a blog about sports. 

      That's how I practiced.  Got started.  Fiction.  I set up a cast of characters, and through them, discussed what was going on in the world of sports.  I wrote and wrote, and wrote some more. 

       Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, blank verse, it really doesn't matter.  1200 words every three days.  My blog lasted one year, 96 posts.  To learn it, you have to do it.  (I even came up with a pen name.  I didn't want anybody to know what I was up to.  Brentwood Belair).

     My apprenticeship.  With sports I always had something to write about, and it was fun.  My undergraduate work.

     I didn't get a ton of readers.  Sports fans, I told myself, are more interested in betting on sports than reading about it?  But I didn't care.  I knew why I was doing it.  To learn how.  Like any other profession, you have to learn the ropes, see if you have the determination, the patience, see if you love doing it.  1200 words every three days, demanding, for a year.  Your test.

     Once you publish your first post, you can call yourself a writer.  Your words are being published worldwide.  People in Sidney, London, The Bronx will be hanging on your every word.   A recipe blog, a dog or cat blog, what you do everyday blog.  Doesn't matter.  Just WRITE, (post pictures, write captions).  Regardless of the number of viewers, the number of comments, the number of subscribers.  Just WRITE.  WRITE.  And WRITE some more.

     (Beside my old blog, StiffLeftJab.com, check out, 'Busblog,' and 'Raymi the Minx,' for ideas.)

     Your assignment;  Set up a blog.  Do it.  It won't take long.  You'll be so happy you did.  Have fun with it.

     Okay, next time, I have two, 'How to,' books I use.  They're the only ones I use. 

     (My first book's for sale on Amazon.  "Flower Street Melodramas.'  Buy it!   12 short stories.  If you like them, I'd appreciate a good review.  Thanks)

     Together we can get this done!

     Later...

Post #1 Back BEFORE square one!

     To make this blog more than unread posts of pictures I've taken around Downtown L.A., with my inane commentary under each, let's help each other instead. 

     I'm writing another book.  This blog will report my thoughts along the way.  From before day one.  Preparation, the writing, and how to get the thing sold.    

     This is for all writers.  Those thinking about it.  Those who are reading over their first proof copy.  Even Those who are on book 15.  Seasoned writers can set me straight if I offer bad advice.  Please do. 

     That's the idea.

     I have a book selling right now on Amazon and Kindle, so I'm a step ahead of those struggling to get their first book together.  I've made mistakes.  And through this blog, we’ll discuss my solutions.  These posts will save you a lot of time.

     So, let's get started.

     Before we do anything else let’s ask the most important question of all:   Is this really what you want to do?

     This is basic.  You have to love to write.  Does it gets you up in the morning?  Do you think in terms of how do I get this down on paper?   "People need me to tell them how this went down."    

     We'd all like to be bestselling authors.  Who's your favorite author, "Oh, Maxwell LaSalle is good."  That's about all I ever wanted to hear.  Simple as that.  Impress people with my writing.

     Do you type for 15 minutes, then check what your Facebook friends are up to, then come back, then wander off over to the refrigerator, "We need more beer, I should get down to the 7Eleven," then, come back and, "I should exercises a little, this gut of mine, sheesh..." 

     An unfocused wanabee.

    Can you write for two hours straight, your pen moving continuously?  If that sounds like work, no fun, torture? again,

    An unfocused wanabee.

    You feel alone sitting at your word processor, itching to talk with somebody, thinking about your oncoming evening?   Movie?  Who will I take?  You can't wait to get away?  Far away?

     An unfocused wanabee. 

     We are judged by what we do, not by what we say we're going to do, or think we'd like to do, or, "Oh yeah, I'm thinking about writing a book."  Again Wannabe. 

      But if you'd rather spend your time typing, than hanging around on the internet? 

     Then there's hope.

     You can't wait to sit down and develop a character.  You can't wait to explain something you've just experienced.  You can't wait to get your feelings into words.

     Then there's hope.

     Take the rest of the day.  Think about it hard.  Is this really what you want to do? 

      I said yes.   I want my name on one of those adventure paperbacks on the shelf down at the Walgreen's.  That's all I've ever wanted.  That's my motivation even today.  My name 'in lights.'

     If you say YES, then meet me here next time.  We'll continue this discussion of things we need to do BEFORE we start writing anything down.        

     Together we can get this done!

     (My first book's for sale on Amazon and Kindle. Flower Street Melodramas.  12 short stories.  If you like them, I'd appreciate a good review,  Thanks)

     Later...

Mine's taller than yours!

     Tallest building west of Mississp.  Used to be the US BANK Building.  Downtown LA.
.

     It's on 5th Street right behind the Egyptian looking art deco brown Main LA Library, looking up Hope Street.
   
     Now it's this building, Air Korea Building under construction , 7th and Figueroa ( Fig-er-o-ah).

     I had to take it in four section.

     But what's this?  Not tall enough?  Did they have to attach a spire on top to make her the tallest?

     Certainly no observation area like the Empire State Building.  Will we have to shinny up the pole to look out.  Some engineer's miscalculation?  (Too many Coronas the night before?)  Can't be saying, "We're almost the highest building..."
  
     "Make it the tallest!  We already told everybody.  I want the tallest!"
   
     "You got the tallest."
   
     "What?  A spire?  Okay.  Do it.  Do it...and you're FIRED!"

I ain't climbing up there!

$205 Mil!

       7-Eleven down 7th from the coffee shop sells PowerBall.  Now over $200 million.  People drift past me in line for coffee.  They look up (annoyed ) from their cell phones when I ask, "What'd you do with $200 million dollars if you won?"
     "You wouldn't get that much.  Taxes."
     Okay, (Mr. TECHNICAL)  a hundred million?"
     He looks at me.  "Paaaar-Tay!!!   Wad ya think?"

     "Buy a helicopter...Fly to Mexico."  (Then what?)  "Hmmm, I done know...buy a house...I guess."
 
      "I'd buy this place, all the coffee I could drink."  (Then what?)  "I done know.  Buy the building maybe.  ( Still got 90 million left.)  "I done know...buy stuff I guess."
   
      "Buy a yacht, like Tiger Woods, and a crew,  (And?)  "Sail around... I guess."
   
     Tough question.  People thinking soooo small.  "Buy a car, a house, a boat?  Then what?  Get bored?  It's like a native from the wilds of the Amazon, hunting for food with a blow gun (are they still around?) suddenly walks into a brightly lit Whole Foods store.  He wouldn't know what to do.  No concept that a place like this exists.

      Same with big Lotto money.  No idea what that amount of money can do.  And would we know how to handle it, like the native, peanut butter in a jar, what the hell is this.  You eat this?
     
     Buy a city?  "Huh, a city?"  Sure, North Hollywood, Reseda, Belair, (well not Belair).   "Buy a city, you can do that?"  It's a hundred million.  Nothing happens without your OK.  If that's what you wanted to do.

     Could you trust anybody?  Will I get kidnapped for ransom?  Guys with machine guns for protection like drug lords?

     Open an orphanage?   Probably not your first response.  But how many do you open?
   
     Buy a business to make MO' MONEY.  How much more do you want?  You have so much money (is it ever enough?) you don't need to make anymore.  Do you?  Be the richest person on earth?  Put in that kind of effort?
 
     I'm getting a headache here.  Maybe the answer is simply our first response...

                                 PAAARRR...TAAAAY!

     Later...

     P.S.  Buy my book.  It's on Amazon.  You'll like it.  (5 stars?)

Almost sucked in!

     I stare at my mailbox in the lobby.  I check it two, three times a week.  It's either something I can't afford (a cruise ship booklet- I'm still on their mailing list after 30 years, OR no interest for six months if I buy over $299 @ Home Depot, a fridg, or dryer, or cord of lumber, some such, OR, New York Times weekend edition ONLY $2.99 (I live in LA guys).
OR BILLS.
I see a letter...from the bank.  Not again.  Didn't I just pay you guys?
But no, I've been granted a higher credit amount on my credit card!!!
Wow, that was nice of them.  For an instant I feel excited, proud of myself.

But...WAIT!  A bank being nice to me.  What am I thinking?  It's harder than hell to pay off the interest they charge now.  I pay $200 on it, they take off $30 from the principle.  (Pay the minimum I'll have it paid off 2032) So now they're encouraging me to spend MORE.  (We need a few months of no interest to pay some of this off...I do anyway.)
I think it's just a tease.  To grab more of my hard earned Social Security.   Like at the Globe up on Broadway.  There I don't have to pay for decades.  I get the pay off right away!!!

Screwed Again!

     My rent's going up, surer 'n hell.  This is what's going up right across the street from my loft.  It used to park over there.

    A whole lotsa construction is going on in my part of Dowtown L.A.  Around Grand, Hill, Spring, between  7th and 8th.  I asked my manager, when I signed up for another year's lease.  "Hey, rent increase?  30 story condo's going up across the street."
     "I don't know nothing about any increase.    Hey no problem.  No problem."
     Why am I suspicious?  Always question authority.  I'm still not 100% on the moon walk, (Sound stage at Langley?)  JFK assasination, (Lone gunman?)  9/11, (Trade Center buildings callapsed straight down as though they were detonated?)  Twinkees, (How could they be bad for us when they tasted soooo good?)

     I'm just waiting for the official looking notice to get taped up on my door.  'This property has been sold.  You've got 30 days to clear out, before we bring in ye 'ol wrecking ball.  We're REALLY sorry for any inconvenience.  Really!"

     Stay tuned.   My next place could be a cement bench in Pershing Squre.  Hell, it's free rent over there!  Lofts are hard to find in my price range.
     So, until next time (where's my Jim Beam and Ginger Ale?)  I thank you for your support.

 

When I knew I had potential (sorta)

I wish I really knew what the hell I was doing when I write. I think I'm mostly just winging it.   I know that sounds crazy, crazier to actually say it, but it's true.  I haven't had a writing class since high school.  And that was a class assignment, the teach telling us to write something about why staying out of trouble is a good thing.  I pretty much said to stay out of jail. (Duh!) C-minus, but I passed!  Something about no footnotes, and my atrocious spelling.  (This was way before Microsoft Word)

      Lucky for me, I've always had a book in my hand since college, so when I write something I get a feeling for it; ‘Does it sound 'right?"  Is it 'Clear?"  Does it 'Flow,' no hiccups?

     The challenge for me: creating characters from people I see every day, with enough bombs going off every few pages so the reader is saying, 'OMG!  You're kidding.'

     When did I know I had an aptitude?  When I asked my son, in the seventh grade,   "Hi, John.  How's school?"
     "It's OK.”
     "Let's see what you have to do."
      "Well...I got this paper I have to do about why education is a good thing.  It's kind of a contest for the entire school."
     "When's it due?"
     "Well...ah...tomorrow?"
     "WHAT?"  (Kid needed help, I could tell.)  "Well, we better get busy."
      Week later.  "Hey, John. How'd you make out on that paper you wrote?"
      "Dad, you're not going to believe... (a weak giggle)"  He whispered, "I won for the seventh grade."
     "You won!  You're kidding.  That's great."
      "Not really.  Now they want me do it in front of the Open House."
      "Upon stage. Like a speech?  Terrific!  You’ll do good.  When it going to be?"
      "Well...ah...tomorrow night."
      "John?  When were you going to tell us?"
      "I don't know."  His face was red.  (The apple didn't fall far...)

      I didn't write it for him, we simply sat at the table and discussed the possibilities.  We knew he could probably copy something from a back issue of Reader's Digest.  But I wanted him to do something original.  Not like today; a simple Google search, copy and paste, "Look I'm a writer!"

      Think outside the box.  We came up with two young boys walking home together, "Did you do that homework on the solar system?"
     The other, "Nah, I don't need that.   I ain't going to never need stuff like that.  I'm getting a job real soon."
     "You're not going to graduate?"
      "They need a dock guy down at Johnson's Hardware."
     "But..."
     and it goes on, how his competition for a job like that, without a high school diploma, would be enormous.  700 words later, written like a one act play, the boy decides he might need a diploma, and does the homework.

     Well, was his teacher pissed at me. Amazed at what John had written, all so suddenly!  Too suddenly for her, I guess.

     I got, in a nice way, the second degree.  "Your son really did a good job on...his...paper."  She didn't have to use 'air quotes,'  I heard it in her voice.

     "Well, all I can say is he showed me the assignment, and well we sat down and discussed it together, and he came up with it."
      I knew she didn't believe me.  "He has potential as a writer.  Maybe we'll get him into some other contests.  Almost like...night and day," as she wandered off.

      Okay, maybe I changed a few things in it...maybe...spelling, bad grammar, but that's it.
     That was the first  time I was ever praised for something I had a hand in writing.  I remember it today!

Maxwell who? Never heard of him.

     I'm Maxwell LaSalle: (Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.) Woops. Maxwell LaSalle: Seeking éclat, I drink coffee in the morning in a small coffee shop in Downtown L.A. and watch the passives aggressively pass me by. But, I'd surely give it all up to become a young handsome billionaire, a longtime dream of mine.  Had I begun writing fiction in my teens, I'd be gushing right here about my three Pulitzers, two National Book Awards, and all my Edgars. But alas.


      I did win a blue ribbon when I was six at the Venice Beach July Games, 10 and under backstroke.  But they told me some other kid said he'd won and had run off with the ribbon. My dad just rubbed my head.


      I read a lot, (not all that active on Facebook, or Twitter, so I have plenty of time). Some of the books I like, and have read a second time;  Guys and Dolls, by Damon Runyon. (Genius who created a whole city for his unforgettable characters stuck in the depression), Fast One by Paul Cain. (Hard nose noir.) Cain only reporting the action, not the thoughts of his characters.  Richard Stark's Spencer.  There are like 20 books withl him the main character.    (Again, all action, about a big time thief whose only focus is get the money and run, regardless! and he usually does.  Certainly the dark hero.)

     Music:  I worked my way through college working as a weekend Disc Jockey at a Big Band radio station, so anything by Benny Goodman, Chic Webb, Miller, Shaw, Berigan, Woody Herman, T and J Dorsey, the list goes on. I even like the crazy Spike Jones (the Spike Jones of the 1950s).  Stan Kenton not so much. Mellow sax, yes, cheeks exploding trumpet screams, (Dizzy Gillespi) no.


     Movies:  Man with the X-Ray Eyes (Ray Milland) TV-Breaking Bad (always something disastrous happening). Plus Better Call Saul. Treasure of Sierra Madre (H. Bogart) The Bourne (Whichevers), action movies that are total chase scenes. Not a fan of subtle. Jitterbug rather than the Viginia reel.


     Finally a plug for my book, (you knew this was coming), 'Flower Street Melodramas; Blades, Blonds, and Lotsa Bravado,' now out on Amazon.  It's 9 short stories, and 3 blog post from my sports blog, StiffLeftJab.com (I wrote that under the pen name: Brentwood Belair.)
   
     At this point l want me thank all of you who have read this far.  Take a breath.  Thanks.
     
     Now, since this is my first blog, I've come up with a Blog Mission Statement.  (Sounds a tad corporate, but, trust me, it'll be the last.  I spent way too many years in the corporate cubicle to go back, temps with clip boards standing over me, "Now how many calls did you make this morning, sir?"  I ain't going back!)   Anyway, here's what I want to do with this Blog:  I'm right now writing a novel entitled, Muscles in Red Wine.   It's a  story about a cage fighter who meets up with (you guessed it) Miss Sophistication, (Red hair, long legs, plays the piano), and together they conquer their personal challenges; he's way too physically aggressive, she's has way to foul a mouth, and in the end (I hope, since I haven't written that far yet,) they clean up their personal baggage, while they fight off the bad guys.

     Every couple of days I'll go through my thought process as I write the novel.  And every week or so I'll give you what I've written.  If you continue along with me you'll have read the entire book.  I hope this will entice you to continue reading my blog.  It's not for just writers, but for anyone interested in how the process works. (trail and error so far, but determination is the key.  My huge ego tells me you'll be checking in every so often.


     Sooo, until next time, (as I stir and sip my Jim Beam and Ginger Ale),  thank you for your support.

Macy's 2020?

     Across Flower Street they're working on the Macy's.  It's now close to two years and counting to upgrades their flagship store, and still they won't be completed until Christmas, if then.  I asked one of the construction workers, an older gentleman, who arrives at the coffee shop about the same time as I do (6a.m.) "When will you guys be done, 2020?"  trying for a laugh.  It's 6 am.  Loosen up his sense of humor?  Guess not.  Guy got mad.  He must have thought I was trying to be cute, degrading both him and his job.  "Oh, we’ll be done real soon.  2020, you’re kidding right?"  Like it was an affront to his work ethic.  Then mumbled something (blasphemous, no doubt, I heard the words  ‘total jerk’)  under his breath and moved up to the counter.

     He usually comes in, orders a small coffee, sits in one of the lounge chairs, for at least an hour, then saunters back across the street.  Supervisor of some sort, I guess.  Never takes off his plastic hard hat.  Six stand around and watch one guy with a jackhammer, while they eat their breakfast burritos off the nearby (I think I’m having a coronary) Taco Truck, parked in the red.  Paid by the hour, big surprise.

     On my way home this morning, I got thinking about;



     How many 'readers' do we lose every day, faces glued to cellphones/internet/ Facebook/ Twitter, etc.,  Before Bill Gates and Company didn't these people have newspapers in their hands, or maybe a paperback book?  The percentage drop of readers in the last forty years?  30-40%?   So the question I ask myself is whether what I'm doing;; writing  stories and doing my novel, as fast as I can before I shuffle off;  Is writing becoming a lost art, like handmade shoes?  Will fiction be available in the future?  Those in print simply yellowing unread on some bookshelf somewhere?  I write them because they're fun to do, creating characters, who do and say things I want to do and say.  I can be the hero in them on the page.  But is reading itself a lost art?

     I guess it's like just about anything we do in life, 100 years from now who will remember us?  Not many, unless you become President, and your name is in the  history books  (Oops, on the internet).   A pure guess, one tenth of one percent of one percent of us will be remembered 50 years from now.



   (This is depressing as hell. How did I get off on this?)



   Time to get back to my characters.   What will they be up to next?  Saving  the world from absolute and total annihilation.  What else?



     Sooooo, until next time, with happier thoughts, promise, (as I sir and sip my Jim Beam and Ginger Ale) thank you for your support.